Starter resource list for new erotica/erotic romance writers

Done as much for my sanity and future reference as for the general good. Need I point out that most of these are not worksafe?
Also see my subsequent post on asking advice of published writers. Trust me, it will be related.
This is not meant to be exhaustive; for that, you actually have to sign up for one of my workshops which also gets you my sage insights and thoughts, among other things.

1. Erotica Readers and Writers Association (ERWA): market lists, list of publishers, book and film reviews, how-to columns, chat, links, etc. This is the Grand Central Station (or equivalent) of information for erotica writers. Start here.

2. Other online market guides: Ralan's Webstravaganza (sf/f/h as well as adult markets); Tristan Taormino's Pucker Up Double T news; Erotic Authors Association LJ; Just About Write - writing for lesbian markets which are pretty much all different flavors of romance, market lists, interviews, etc.; also see individual publishers websites.

3. Other market guides (subscription): Gila Queen's Guide to Markets ($20 a year) - different themed issues, including romance. There's always an erotica listing as well. Cynthia Ward's Market Maven ($20 year) - primarily science fiction and fantasy, occasionally  some sf/f/h erotica/erotic romance-friendly markets.

4. Books, specific. Elements of Arousal: Writing Gay Men's Erotica by Lars Eighner (excellent starter book, desperately needs to be brought back into print and updated); Susie Bright's How to Write a Dirty Story; The Erotic Writer's Market Guide by the Circlet Press Collective; Lavender Ink: Writing and Selling Lesbian Fiction; Writing Erotica by Edo von Belkom.

5. Books, general: Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Dave King and Renni Brown; many, though not all, titles by Donald Maas.

6. Writers' organizations: Erotic Authors Association; Romance Writers of America and specific chapters for erotic romance, GLBT-themed romance, etc.

On asking advice of published authors...

mostly specific to erotica and erotic romance, but with spillover into other genres.
Basic advice asking courtesy:
a) Do your own research first and don't expect someone else to do it for you. See previous post.
b) Have you done your research? Really? Then you won't be asking questions like "Where should I send my novel?," right? Remember that the author is aware that Google probably works on your computer too.
c) Do not ask them to read your unsolicited first draft manuscript, particularly if said author is a total stranger to you. They want to see it, they'll ask.
d) Are you starting off your email or letter with the phrase, "I'm not familiar with you or your work..." or any other variant thereof? Are you even thinking it?
STOP. Back away from the keyboard before hitting Send. Ask yourself the following question: "Why am I asking a complete stranger whose work I can't be bothered reading for advice?" Hint: there is no sensible response to this that involves you hitting the Send button. Really.

Okay, deep cleansing breaths. The alternative situation: you are contacting someone for their expertise. You are conversant with at least some of their work and you have taken the trouble to introduce yourself via email or note or at a conference or a workshop or Facebook or LJ or something. You have a question they may be able to answer that you have been unable to answer for yourself (see above). Bear the following in mind:
you are asking for a favor. Behave accordingly. Keep it simple and thank them for any response that they give you, short of them calling you an idiot in very clear and certain terms. And if that happens, just leave them alone.

Best all time example of how to do this: a year or so back, a fellow author who had contacted me previously asked me for market information and related info. I pointed him toward several resources that he was unaware of and made specific suggestions for his body of work that he found useful. I got a thank you note AND he bought one of my books. So he gets anything he needs from me down the road because he is smart and polite and filled with the awesome.

The other end of the scale: I've responded to any number of advice and related requests at length, taking time from my own work and life to do so for which I have received no acknowledgment whatsoever. I don't expect spectacular, but saying "Thanks for doing this and wow, was this useful" is reasonably important (even if you're not going to use it. Lie.). This means that Catherine doesn't do this anymore unless she has good reason to (see above) or has oodles of free time (which does not happen). Also known as "This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things."

Bear in mind that a little common sense and courtesy goes a long way toward making you memorable in a good way, and is far more likely to help you achieve your goals.