Dwelling in Probabilities

 I go to a LOT of events and I have thoughts about them. So MANY thoughts. My new post at the SFWA Blog - “Good for Your Career?” is all about evaluating writing-related events, like conventions and book festivals, to decide how best to spend your money and time. https://www.sfwa.org/2019/06/good-for-your-career-evaluating-events-for-writers/

mostly specific to erotica and erotic romance, but with spillover into other genres.
Basic advice asking courtesy:
a) Do your own research first and don't expect someone else to do it for you. See previous post.
b) Have you done your research? Really? Then you won't be asking questions like "Where should I send my novel?," right? Remember that the author is aware that Google probably works on your computer too.
c) Do not ask them to read your unsolicited first draft manuscript, particularly if said author is a total stranger to you. They want to see it, they'll ask.
d) Are you starting off your email or letter with the phrase, "I'm not familiar with you or your work..." or any other variant thereof? Are you even thinking it?
STOP. Back away from the keyboard before hitting Send. Ask yourself the following question: "Why am I asking a complete stranger whose work I can't be bothered reading for advice?" Hint: there is no sensible response to this that involves you hitting the Send button. Really.

Okay, deep cleansing breaths. The alternative situation: you are contacting someone for their expertise. You are conversant with at least some of their work and you have taken the trouble to introduce yourself via email or note or at a conference or a workshop or Facebook or LJ or something. You have a question they may be able to answer that you have been unable to answer for yourself (see above). Bear the following in mind:
you are asking for a favor. Behave accordingly. Keep it simple and thank them for any response that they give you, short of them calling you an idiot in very clear and certain terms. And if that happens, just leave them alone.

Best all time example of how to do this: a year or so back, a fellow author who had contacted me previously asked me for market information and related info. I pointed him toward several resources that he was unaware of and made specific suggestions for his body of work that he found useful. I got a thank you note AND he bought one of my books. So he gets anything he needs from me down the road because he is smart and polite and filled with the awesome.

The other end of the scale: I've responded to any number of advice and related requests at length, taking time from my own work and life to do so for which I have received no acknowledgment whatsoever. I don't expect spectacular, but saying "Thanks for doing this and wow, was this useful" is reasonably important (even if you're not going to use it. Lie.). This means that Catherine doesn't do this anymore unless she has good reason to (see above) or has oodles of free time (which does not happen). Also known as "This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things."

Bear in mind that a little common sense and courtesy goes a long way toward making you memorable in a good way, and is far more likely to help you achieve your goals.