Change and more of the same

I have mixed emotions about Tuesday's results. Not about Obama. I voted for him and I recognize his staggering historical importance, both in general and in specific. I lived in Georgia in the late 1960s and I can remember Angela Davis being on the run, the assassinations of Malcolm X and Robert Kennedy (I named my new kitten after him when I was five) and the end of the Klan's heyday. I also remember the nice African American lady who lived in the tin shack down the road with the sunflowers growing out front. Her house was made out of mismatched pieces of corrugated tin haphazardly fastened together. It bothered me as a kid, the fact that she didn't get to live in a house like we did, especially since she was always nice to us kids. I can also remember when even dating someone outside your ethnic/racial background was regularly called "miscegenation" or "race mixing" and was often hazardous to your health and well being.

Now we go from all that to this: the election of the first man of "mixed race" heritage to the highest office in the land. What a thrilling thing to be around for - I'm glad I made it this far. I can only imagine what it must be like for the folks who can remember when Jim Crow was the law of the land and risked everything to bring about the changes that we saw come to fruition on Tuesday.

That said, Proposition 8 passed in California, other marriage bans passed in other states and Arkansas outlawed "unmarried people" from adopting and fostering kids. My partner and I have seen our share of changes, good and bad, in the 15 years we've been together. This year, her Mormon family fully acknowledged me as her partner; it took them 14 years but back in the spring, I was actually told that I was "part of the family." It was a lovely grand gesture, even if we still can't talk to her aunt about her forty year long relationship with her "roommate"; that remains off limits.

We've also seen the the possibility of legal marriage fail more times than pass, but the fact remains that we've seen it pass at all. We've seen churches change and families embrace what they wouldn't or couldn't before.

Yet we woke up on Wednesday knowing that if one of us winds up in the hospital, the other can only 'visit' as family depending on the whims of the municipality or the hospital. I can't get her on my insurance. I can't leave her my Social Security. We have the added expense of paying a lawyer to draw up documents to give us any legal status at all, and that can still be contested and ignored. Bashings and job discrimination are a daily reality. And then there's the tax status issues.

But we persevere, contributing what we can, hoping the change we help bring on will make for better things.

And while we're at it, we'll work on getting a woman whose politics we can respect in the White House next. It's a new day. We got hope.

Addendum to previous

So we've decided to get as "married" as we can in these parts and are registering as domestic partners this very evening. Clearly we'll need to throw a party sometime soon.