catherineldf | Entries tagged with personal update

Queen of Swords Press News first!
Big shoutout to Melissa Scott and Amy Griswold! Death by Silver is a 2024 Midwest Book Award Finalist!

And, speaking of Melissa Scott, Point of Hopes: A Novel of Astreiant (Book 1) is up for preorder on the Queen of Swords Press webstore and elsewhere! Look for Book 2, Point of Knives, in July and the other books every month after that, on through to a brand new novella in the series in December!

We have been scrambling to get Hopes done for months now. Between Melissa, cover artist Matt Bright and me, we have weathered: 2 cases of COVID, a major move, 3 job changes, multiple events and a major car accident. But we have perservered and it is gorgeous! Preorders will be trickling out into the world in the next few weeks. We also have review copies!

Otherwise, just a tad buried under tasks and work and such. If you're in or near Rochester, MN, stop by Rochester Pride this weekend and say hi to us (Queen of Swords Press will have a table). I've even got a couple of new writing projects, in addition to the next werewolf novel. More news to come!

Okay, weekend road trip with friends.But I didn't do any work so therefore it = vacation. What did we do? Went to Wisconsin! Some years back, my friend Matt and I met an older gay man from Alma, WI who was running an ice cream shop/hotel on Alma's main drag. He had brochures featuring photos of a glorious garden and was a big promoter of all things Alma. In addition to his own Hotel de Ville and Fire & Ice (the ice cream coffee shop), Alma is the home of the glorious Castlerock Museum, which has a great collection of historical arms. Plus art galleries, little art shops, an old theater and such. I have been desperately wanting to go stay at this hotel for ages - Jana and I made it to town to check out the museum and ice cream shop pre-COVID lockdown, but weren't able to get time to stay there. Achievement unlocked! It is a charming old pile, full of antiques and history and we enjoyed our time there. The garden is a marvel (statuary! a waterfall! a fountain! a hobbit hole!) and I'm so glad I got to see it again.

We also went to Cultural Cloth in Maiden Rock, WI, which is a delightful store that sells fair trade fabric and crafts, mostly by women, from around the world. I got a new throw and pillows for the couch, which sorely needed some new coverings. We ate pie in Stockholm at Stockholm Pie and visited several shops. We went to the Castlerock Museum and had a fine time, as well as visiting various places on the main drag through town. We did a side trip down to Winona to see the Minnesota Marine Arts Museum, which was a marvel, and checked out a local used book shop, a comic shop and a farm to table cafe. Definitely going back!

The next day was supposed to include a trip to Lark Toys, the Eagle Center in Wabasha and lunch at Reed's Landing, but one of my friends got word of a family health emergency and we had to cut the trip short. But it was still a delightful weekend! Conversation, jigsaw puzzles, watching things, reading and generally much-needed relaxing. Now let's hope our pal gets good news to wrap things up.

This time for, well, surviving! Advice that small press publishers founded in the last 8 years (that are still around) pass along to those who would join their number - here. Some weeks, surviving seems like the whole of the game.

It's been lively! The PEN panel went well last week, as did 13 Gears Steampunk last weekend. And our reading on Thursday night at DreamHaven. What's next, you ask? Well, I'm taking a tiny vacation and going off with friends to visit the Castlerock Museum in Alma, Wisconsin (kitties and house will be tended by their latest minion). But lots of work to get done before then! And afterwards! I've also taken on a few new projects that I'm excited about, but have to vaguebook about for the moment.

How are things apart from all that? Jana's not doing particularly well and I have to just resign myself to some aspects of that. I'm...tired. 3 events in row, plus starting a new job and trying to balance Queen of Swords Press projects has been draining. I'm hoping to get to a better balance here soon. Gradual house clean out continues slowly along too, so there's that. I'm loving "The Completely Made-Up Adventures of Dick Turpin" on Apple and "Renegade Nell" on Disney and I'm looking forward to this bit of utter ridiculousness: Borderlands. And lots more events coming up! Stay tuned!

Brief post, to be followed by a longer one later this week. I got moved to another department at the same company, so still employed, albeit with much less chance to rest and get organized than I hoped for. Did a panel this week for the Professional Editors Network and thought it went well Just back from 2 days tabling at 13 Gears Steampunk, which was fun. Next up, I read at DreamHaven Books on Thursday with Michael Merriam and Jennie Goloboy. Come see us!

It's layoff time again. Budget cuts. So my job ends next week due to budget cuts, thereby wrapping up the last 3 months as...remarkable in many ways. Even by my standards. I am admittedly very, very tired so rest would be good. What will "rest" look like, you ask? Well, I'm taking an online developmental editing class to brush up on my skills and will be open to editing/coaching/creating marketing plans, etc. in a couple of weeks. I have a novel to finish drafting. I have some classes and articles to propose. I have to finish getting Melissa Scott's Astreiant series ready to go out this year. We just got a table at Twin Cities Pride, which is huge. I want to sell off a bunch of stuff and clear things out so I can get a housemate or sell the place off, if I need to. I've been going to workshops on publishing for two years and there's a bunch of stuff I want to try. So we'll see how all that goes. But I'm feeling very "seize the day" right now and if not now, when? Fingers crossed and stay tuned!

Just realized that I had not posted since recovering from the Rona. I had bad cold symptoms and was sleepy for several days, then lingering tired the next week. All recovered now! Which is good because the universe is throwing more at me. The latest crisis is that my day job contract is getting cut short next month, instead of June, due to a giant project getting canceled. My contracting con is starting a search and we’ll see how that goes. I could do with a month to just work on Queen of Swords Press projects and drafting the next werewolf novel. A couple of months would be more problematic, particularly since I’ve decided to go to Glasgow Worldcon in August! I’m going to meet Heather Rose Jones in Reykjavik and hang out there for a couple of days, then travel with her to Glasgow. I didn’t get a big trip for my 60th and life has been, let’s face it, hard, so this is my gift to myself. Have already lined up a friend for house and cat sitting too. :-)

What else is going on?

Jana is more or less adjusting to memory care. She doesn’t seem to hate it and is taking up new crafts.
I’m down to one last financial thing that the county needs to pick up.
I got new tires on the car.
I kinda like the alone time, at least for the moment. I am seeing friends and even went to the caucuses with a neighbor last night and had a decent time.
House clean out is inching along.
Queen of Swords Press is releasing a new novella by Michael Merriam on 3/7! Terror at Tierra de Cobre is a Weird West take on “The Magnificent 7” with an all woman cast and monsters and it’s up for preorder now - https://queenofswordspress.com/product/terror-at-tierra-de-cobre/!
Made progress on the new editions of Melissa Scott’s Astreiant Series! These books are so good!
Started poking at my next werewolf novel.
Saw “American Fiction” (very good) and “Argylle” (amusing, awesome ice skating/knife fighting scene).
Worked on taxes and giant To-Do List. ‘

Now off to dinner with Sig. Then more work when I get home.

Last week was a big week. Jana was briefly incapacitated last weekend, which was very scary. I managed to get her back on her feet, but I am in no shape for dead lifting another human. Fortunately, I was able to lever her back up using physics and a chair and my friend Sheila went and got a walker from the store and drove it over. The next day, Monday (our 28th anniversary, as a matter of fact), a power team of my friends Jody, Rebecca, Matt and Larry turned up at the memory care place and helped me assemble the furniture (they actually did most of it). We got her room set up by the end of the day and I took her over on Wednesday. She was not...thrilled, but was mostly cooperative with staff and went to lunch and handed out her tiny books. Then she came back to the room and demanded to be taken home. When that failed, she looked at the bed and recognized her blankets and asked if she could sleep there. By the time I finished paperwork, she was out cold.

Thursday, her PCA checked on her and said she was restless but distractible and went to bed early after doing an art project and eating. I intended to go back today, but had some things to do that took longer than I planned, so I'm going back tomorrow with some more of her things. I expect it to be a struggle.

In the meantime, the CADI and Medical Assistance finally went through. Now I have to get through a bridging fund that will cover the difference between the CADI and what she gets for Social Security, but we're getting closer! Otherwise, I'm adapting and the cats are adapting, though we're all finding it weird. and, of course day job was doing a not very good Agile training all week, just to make things a bit more stressful. But I'm starting to clean and today, I switched out a lot of the art and took some things down and flagged other to give away. Gradually making the space my own.

Life will be fun when I get back from Capricon - the car needs new tires and the dryer is beginning to conk out, but in the meantime, Queen of Swords Press title Little Nothing by Dee Holloway made the BSFA Long List! Please consider voting for it, if you're a member. It is a really good novella and we've been plagued with the Death of Twitter, constant mayhem, people dropping the ball on reviews and sundry other things so it definitely needs help finding its people. And on that note, to bed!

So there are multiple levels to getting my wife into memory care, one of which is the ever exciting “Who’s going to pay for it?” She’s 63, so the only way to get the feds involved is to go through Social Security disability (which is just a minefield of ridiculous barriers and invariably gets turned down multiple times) or to go through the State of MN. Why don’t we have long term care insurance? Well, that went away when I got laid off in 2019 and my next supposedly permanent job only lasted a year. Why do I need someone else to pick up the tab? Because memory care costs $8-10k a month and goes up from there and sadly, even though we both worked since we were teens, we are not zillionaires. So that’s some of the depressing part.

Now the good stuff: her SMRT came through yesterday and her CADI waiver is fast-tracked! It has taken 10 months, 1 paralegal, 2 social workers and me to get there, but she is finally declared disabled (the first part) and in need of support. So fingers crossed that the Waiver comes through real soon! That also still leaves: getting her medical records, getting her stuff moved and getting her moved, all in the next couple of weeks. Wish me luck!

I might as well start with the personal part, seeing as that's where most of my energy has gone. For those just tuning in, my wife, bookbinder and book conservator, Jana Pullman, has early onset Alzheimer's. And it moves fast. We started working on the same ridiculously complicated jigsaw puzzle around this time last year and back then, she could help with it. Now, a year later, she doesn't know what a jigsaw puzzle is. You get the idea. There's been been drama and her getting lost and PCAs coming in to take care of her and lots and lots of daily issues that have left me completely drained and exhausted.

And we're going to wrap the year with one more thing: I can no longer take care of her in a manner that ensures her relative health and safety and am experiencing health issues of my own, so between last week and this. I have done a gigantic amount of paperwork and turned it in to a memory care facility in the suburbs. I'm planning on moving her in the next couple of weeks once we track down one last round of medical records. I have to completely furnish her room too, so that will also be fun. Most things at home are either in use, too big or not a great option for other reasons, so online shopping with delivery will be one of this weekend's tasks. It's going to be wretched no matter how I do it and a big source of financial stress (I'm told the county funding process for her care will accelerate once she's moved, but it's dragged on so long, I had to file an extension on the application and we're running out of runway).

At any rate, needs must. And it has to be this month or I can’t go to Capricon 44, where I am a GoH this year and people are coming to see me. Dammit, I'm going to Capricon. So I will be making this happen because it has to very soon no matter what. Then I get to come back and figure out living on my own for a bit for the first time in decades (I might be getting a house mate, but that's still under discussion) while excavating our stuff. It's going to be...a lot.

What else is going on? Well, for most of this year, I've put about 60-70 hours a week between my day job (IT contracting), Queen of Swords Press, teaching, events and caregiving. Amazingly, I still have friends and something of a life and have gotten to do some cool things this year. They have not included much writing, however. I had one story published this year, "The Pirate in the Mirror," on Heather Rose Jones's LHMPodcast, I have written 7500 words of my next menopausal werewolf, Blue Moon, and I have written sundry things for my Patreon and Shepherd.com. Oh, and some work on a fantasy novel project that I've been poking at for a while and gradually reviving. I miss writing. We're going to fix that as soon as Jana is resettled. Next post, I'll tackle Queen of Swords press-related stuff; by and large, I had a fine year as a publisher so that'll be something to look forward to.

Also of note: replaced the water heater and the built-in microwave and the roof and gutter system, upgraded the ancient living room chair to a recliner and had the kitchen ceiling patched up and replastered.

The holiday week was a fun mix of stuff - going to the Jungle with friends to see a funny short play, going to the MIA for the Native American photography show (really good!) with another friend, going to the Minnesota Arboretum for Winter Lights at the Arb with someone else, hanging out at friend's houses eating food and chatting. And the less fun stuff. Another room opened up at the memory care place and I'm going for it. So far, I'm almost a full day into the paperwork and it's still not done. I have sent a check and the preliminary batch so hopefully that will be enough to start. In the meantime, she seems more checked out and things are definitely getting worse. So fingers crossed that I can make this happen before Feb and Capricon.

I did have a cool thing happen today - I met with the curator of the Upper Midwest Literary Archives at the University of Minnesota over hot beverages and she was enthusiastic about adding Queen of Swords Press titles and papers to the collection. I gave her copies of all of our print books to get things started and we had a great discussion about things we could do together to support the archives. Very excited about this!

Apart from that, we have end of year sales, as one does!

Smashwords End of Year Sale - all books except Dionysus Club and Little Nothing are on sale. Get some great deals on books by Alex Acks, A.J. Fitzwater, Jennie Goloboy, Michael Merriam, Melissa Scott and Amy Griswold, Emily Byrne and me! Ends this weekend.
Google Play Series Promo - login and save 15% on Death by Silver and A Death at the Dionysus Club when you buy them together. Ends this Friday.
IHeartSapphFic's End of Year Blowout - get Murder on the Titania and Wireless by Alex Acks and Desire by Emily L. Byrne for $.99 on Amazon through 12/29.

Hope the holidays treated everyone well and that New Year's is a good one. End of year rounds ups coming soon.

Still alive! Still digging out from under various projects!

Queen of Swords Press stuff:
A Death at the Dionysus Club (Lynes & Mathey 2) by Melissa Scott and Amy Griswold comes out on Thursday, but we have a deal running on Smashwords: buy it now for a discount and agree to sign up for our mailing list. It ends in 28 hours so move fast. When it comes out, it will be available everywhere, just like Book 1. And it's terrific!
Speaking of terrific, I just signed Michael Merriam's Weird West novella, Terror at Tierra de Cobre for a March release at MarsCon, where he is one of the Guests of Honor. It's an all-women spin on the Magnificent 7, with monsters. Good stuff!
And I signed Melissa Scott for a new edition of her Astreiant Series (Point of Hopes, etc.), plus a new novella in the series! The plan is to do an omnibus ebook of the original books (4 novels + 1 novella) in June, with a print book coming out each month, culminating in the new novella in print and ebook in December! Should be fun!
Also fun: Last table event of the year! Look for the Queen of Swords Press booth at the Minnesota Women's Art Festival this Saturday at the St. Mary's University Student Union in Minneapolis (across 26th from the American Swedish Institute). I'll be peddling Jana's work and my books (and bring others that people are interested in for purchase and pickup at the table). I'm going to be shutting down Jana's Etsy at the end of this month so if you're not local and there's something you want, now's the time. It's just too much work to maintain, alas, though I'll still have her work at our tables and at MCBA.
On the less jolly end of things, my beloved and terrific book designer, Terry Roy, has been experiencing some pretty bad health issues. Sending her all the best and hoping that she's doing a lot better soon.

Catherine writing stuff:
Blue Moon is inching along.
I've also been working on a project for my Patreon on the history of LGBTQ+ Publishing that I'll be continuing for December. Sign up for any amount or stay tuned for my next talk on the subject.

Catherine life stuff:
Where to begin? First, BIG thank you shout out to everyone who pitched in on my Ko-fi campaign for Capricon. I did make my goal so that's one obstacle hopefully out of the way. Rumor has it that day job is extending me at least through first quarter of 2024, so that will help a bunch. Still waiting on the CADI Waiver from the state, however. In the meantime, Jana has deteriorated further and there have been some exciting moments, so her PCAs and the social worker I work with got the county involved and turned the heat up under me to start looking at memory care. I toured a place the week before last and liked it and their nurse is coming to evaluate her on Thursday. However, Jana is the same woman who got kicked out of adult day care for being disruptive o all bets are off at the moment. If they're willing to take her, they'll take her CADI pending. There will still be significant upfront costs and I'll have to pay for furniture, etc. for her room. So that's one possibility of how things could roll in the next two months. After the eval, I'm going to talk to the company I talked to a few weeks back about 24/7 care at home and to the friends with healthcare experience who volunteered to stay here and herd her if we can't get her placed before February and Capricon. Fingers crossed that I can get some combination of these options sorted.
More bulletins soon!

Well, it has certainly been a week, even though it's not quite done yet. Not long after my previous post, I got blindsided by Jana's main PCA, who made the decision to report her to the county as "a vulnerable adult" who cannot be left to wander unsupervised. Which is all well and good and I don't entirely disagree with this assessment, but I also need to keep working all 3 of my jobs (day job, publisher, author/instructor/etc.) or our house of cards collapses abruptly. Super difficult to be a full time babysitter while doing all of that. But despite this, I didn't object to the assessment, just the not warning me first part. Also, I'm paying out of pocket for their time so more time + more money (we have come to a temporary arrangement about this in the meantime, once I stopped yelling).

That same day, the respite care company that I thought I was coming to an agreement with about taking care of J while I went to Capricon announced they didn't have staff that could cover that many shifts, and who weren't afraid to go into Minneapolis and weren't allergic to cats. And, while I might bristle at the whole "scary, scary Minneapolis," my friend and I were carjacked at gunpoint on this very block last summer and we now have a small homeless encampment in the community garden up the alley. Thus far, the latter is pretty quiet and mellow, but it may not stay that way and even your average white urbanite is prone to have the vapors when one appears nearby. At any rate, I don't have any immediate solutions to offer but at the same time, cannot in all honesty respond with, "But it's perfectly safe!"

Now mind you, I also haven't had a reprieve from caregiving (which I am not particularly suited for, let it be said) for 2 solid years and change. The last time was when one of her friends flew her out to Utah for a week. Her condition is also definitely deteriorating, which means that I cannot contemplate putting her on a plane and sending her back for a visit. The social worker that I'm working with is now recommending memory care. Which she is not wrong about. But despite legal assistance and 9 months worth of jumping through hoops, we still haven't gotten the CADI waiver which would pay for memory care (realistically, I can't afford any place that doesn't take it).

So what does this mean? Well, next week, I'm touring a memory care facility. And I'm talking to a new respite care company. 5 days of going to Capricon by train, with a bit of travel leeway for winter = 5 days of 24 hour coverage at home = $5000. Possibly plus overtime. My original estimate was $3000. Queue screaming into the void. So what am I going to do? Meet with them, tour places and get something set up, somehow. Not sure what that will be, but will be pursuing all options. Because even I recognize that my health can't handle too much more of this. And I want to go be a rockstar in the Chicago for a few days, dammit.

On the brighter side, lovely friends and acquaintances have gotten me to 59% of my original fundraiser goal, which is a HUGE help (thank you!). My manager at the day job is trying to extend my contract so fingers crossed on that. Even 6 months would help. And I'm publishing Melissa Scott's Astreiant Series next year! Wildly excited about that, especially since she's working on a brand shiny new novella for it. And I was mighty this week and finally did my at home colon cancer screening, scheduled an appointment with our new dentist to have my persistence gum pain looked at, got our backyard maple worked on (it's getting rootbound, but our tree guy thinks he can save it), got our furnace tuned and got the yard cleaned up for winter. Next up, the locksmith to deal with some issues. At any rate, wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

Just the Me things, not the world things. Because that would be way too much.
It's been a lively couple of weeks. On the cultural side, I went to:

The Minnesota Orchestra to see them play background for "Werewolf by Night." My friend Matt wore his new bespoke suit from Heimie's Haberdashery in St. Paul and looked amazingly dapper. Principal Conductor Sarah Hicks showed up dressed as a werewolf and a fun time was had by all!
Went to Theater Pro Rata's production of "Bernhardt/Hamlet" about Sarah Bernhardt's ground-breaking performance as Hamlet in 1899. really good performances and fine production.
Went to hear Boiled in Lead at the Hook & Ladder and it was, as usual, a fine show.
Went to a Prime Productions reading of "The Oldest Profession" at the Jungle. Prime is a local theater company dedicated to theater by and about women over 50. It was, as are all of their productions I've seen so far, very good. looking forward to the next two in the series, coming up at the Capri and the Gremlin, respectively.
Off to Mysterious Old Radio Listening Society at Bryant Lake Bowl tonight.

Teaching:

I taught my intro to genre fiction publishing class at Springboard for the Arts last Tuesday and it went pretty well. Lot of no shows though, so that was disappointing.
Both my class with Jennie and my Gothic horror class got canceled, which was disappointing and anxiety-producing. My day job just went Magic 8 Ball this week (I'll likely be looking for a new job at the start of the year, unless there is a minor miracle) and the microwave is going to be quite expensive to replace. Granted, I needed the rest too. But mixed bag.
Teaching again with Jennie at the Loft next month so please send your friends!

Everything else:

A Death at the Dionysus Club by Melissa Scott and Amy Griswold is up for preorder in ebook and print! Coming out 12/7 - more gay, Edwardian murder mysteries!
Twin Cities Book Festival was delight, if pretty exhausting. Saw many people and sold books.
Big announcement about next year's books coming soon!
State of the Spouse - I've been trying to get on the CADI Waver for 8 months now. It keeps feeling longer. Still trying to get overnight respite care so I can leave town in February for Capricon, but no luck so far. Got an interview coming up this week though so fingers crossed.
Doing some writing again, finally.

Now to go prep dinner for spouse and deal with sundry hygenic things before I can leave the house. Sigh.

Last week was a delight, by which we mean the other thing. The microwave (which Jana could reliably still use) died, I came down with norovirus and while I was sick, Jana got lost for 6 hours and had to be retrieved by the police because the battery on her tracker died. Still recovering, in all senses of the term.
In the meanwhile, October will be full! And I have 3 classes coming up that could use more signups because life is expensive right now. Tell your friends!

Secrets Revealed!: Getting Your Book to the Right Agents and Editors - October 7th, 1-3PM PST, online at the Rambo Academy. Jennie Goloboy and Catherine Lundoff will be teaching this popular workshop.
Intro to Genre Fiction - October 10th, 6-8PM CST, online. Springboard for the Arts. Catherine will be teaching this free annual workshop.
Twin Cities Book Festival - October 14th, 9:30-5PM, St. Paul, MN. Queen of Swords Press will be back with a book table!
Crimson Peaks and Menacing Mansions: Writing Gothic Horror - October 15th, 9:30-11:30 AM PST. Online at the Rambo Academy. Catherine will be teaching this annual workshop.
World Fantasy Convention - October 26th-29th, Kansas City, MO. Catherine Lundoff will be participating in the online portion of the con.

Or at least makes me feel like I'm making progress of a sort.
September so far:

Jana's dad, Charles, passed away right before Labor Day weekend. I only met him once (at her mom's funeral and memorial) and didn't have a ton of contact with him, but he did get pretty supportive in the last couple of years and I'll miss for her sake. He died at home in his own bed, surrounded by loved ones and with decent medical care and he went when he was ready to go so I think it was a good passing. J seems more disoriented than usual and does occasionally mention him in a way that indicates that she knows he's no longer around. Hopefully, that gets easier soon.
I got to fill out a bunch of paperwork for her examination by the country to determine whether or not she is sufficiently disabled to require assistance. The social worker seemed pretty clear on that, but there is, of course, several month's worth of backlog and one of the more immediately useful things would have been money for adult daycare...which she has already gotten herself kicked out of. She is being...extra right now so I'm hoping it's mostly her dad's passing and not a whole new phase of "extra" because I'm getting worn out.
We're getting a new roof and gutters due to massive hail damage and it will be happening soon, because everything must happen this month.
My new recliner arrives on Thursday. My hip and leg have not stopped screaming for weeks and have responded to absolutely nothing so here's hoping this is a big help.
Have managed to spend some quality time with friends, which has been lovely and pagan pride was fun until we got sort of rained out (just enough to drive people out of the park and require tarping up, not enough to help the drought much). I'm off to table at St. Cloud Pride this weekend so hopefully that goes smoothly.
Saw "Bottoms" and thought it was amusing.
Doing a little tiny bit of writing and working on getting the next Lynes & Mathey title by Melissa Scott and Amy Griswold out by December. Also, working on my talk on LGBTQ+ publishing for Quatrefoil. And dayjobbing like a dayjobbing thing.

So far this month, I have bought a recliner (due to be delivered real soon), found that the hip shot didn't work this time so I'm still in lots of pain and need to explore other options and I finally scattered Mom's ashes at Prairie Oaks (local green burial site and only legal place in the state to scatter human remains). I put her urn in storage in the basement for future use and after 3 years of looking at it and thinking, "I should take care of that," it was both a bit sad and very freeing.

Speaking of freeing, I finally got around to reading The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson and really liked it. I have also read Marie Kondo and I think that while Kondo's book can be great for figuring our why you hang on to what you hang on to and what you can do about changing that if you want to, Magnusson's is about letting go of the unneeded and unnecessary. For the last couple of years of job instability and Jana's deteriorating health, I've been in a constant state of lowkey panic about cleaning out the house and our stuff in case I had to sell it in a hurry to pay for bills. That's still there, but what I took from Magnusson's book was that I could also view it as a life transition; I will not, after all, want to live alone in a mostly inaccessible house as I age (based on the supposition that I will either outlive Jana or she will be in some form of memory care in the not too distant future) so I can think about it as not "how will I handle the next disaster?" but as "if I am living in a different, more manageable space for Older Me, what do I want to have around me?" With that in mind, I'm continuing to work on shedding things that we're no longer using, selling what I can, giving things away on the Buy Nothing club and so forth, but also making small changes and purchases to make our daily lives more accessible for Older Us.

With that in mind, I replaced the old multi-component stereo with something that works better for me (a refurbished Bose Wave that takes up less space) and means I am actually listening to CDs regularly again which in turn means that I'm doing more writing and editing in my evenings after Jana goes to bed. I had trained my brain to write to certain pieces of music, but had let that slip over the last few years. So far, Blue Moon is growing a few hundred words a week, which is an improvement, if not quite the thousands I dreamed of. I'm also working on overhauling the Patreon novel. And working on edits for A Death at the Dionysus Club, the second Lynes and Mathey book by Melissa Scott and Amy Griswold, which will be coming out in December. More creativity, more productivity, so far.

On a more somber note, people need to stop dying for a bit. So far this month, a comparatively young writer who I had hoped to work with, a friend's coworker, a friend's bestie, another friend's husband and countless relatives of friends. And that's not including two of Jana's friends and her dad, who are all in poor health and the poor local queer punk kids whose house concert venue got shot up by some homophobic assholes a few weeks ago (1 dead, multiple hospitalizations, lots of trauma). And that's just the local level. At any rate, it's a lot and next month could be a much easier one for all of us.

I'm kicking mine off with the State Fair...then getting Jana evaluated for disability (all future funding for her care depends on this). Hugs all around. i think we can use them.

A good friend picked me up and dropped me off at our local medical center, HCMC. I got in to see Radiology for my hip shot more or less on time. Got the same tech and supervisor as last time and they remembered me and we chatted while a team of students watched on the monitor. It went smoothly and relatively painlessly.

In general, mask use at HCMC is pretty casual so if you’re going there for anything, plan for that. I masked the whole time and the radiologist and his student both wore masks when they were near me. There may, of course, be air purifiers running but best to ask if you need to do anything at the big clinics.

Then it was off to the Boob Smoosh to check for the “maybe it’s something…or not” shadow from the last one. The tech was unmasked and the smoosh was excruciating - I literally have bruises on my boob from being clamped so tight (I have never missed the Piper Breast Center at Abbott so much!), and it was…inconclusive. So onward for an ultrasound. The tech was gentle and masked, the doctor courteous and pleasant (but not masked) but the upshot is maybe it’s something, maybe it’s not, come back in 6 months Or sooner if I notice anything.

My friend had sensibly gone swimming at the Y and swung back around to pick me up. We stopped off at the cafe at Norway House for recovery tea and learned that her spouse was still feeling crappy from a health issue on Thursday so we decided to keep the dinner reservation, but pass on the Brave New Workshop show they already had tickets for. We came back to house, I checked in Jana and puttered, then we went for a lovely dinner at Gorkha Palace. Then she dropped me off and borrowed my new dumpling press and went off to experiment with it. I did author royalty payments (buy more books! We’re having a sake at Smashwords!) and went to bed.

My hip had been feeling steadily better and apart from frequent trips to the bathroom, I was anticipating a decent night’s sleep, uninterrupted by lots of pain. Apparently I had forgotten how these steroid shots work. I was up at 1:15, then again 2:30 as my body attempted to shed ALL the inflammation. I gave up and went out to the couch. Ma’at, bless her tiny heart, is not happy that we’re out of her regular raw meat food and began howling her tiny head off. Jana got up at 3:30 and proceeded to take a shower because she bases her schedule on my first movements in the morning. Cue more cat howling, more pee breaks, me swearing and yelling at everyone. I shut myself in the bedroom and managed a hour and a half of interrupted naps, until Jana shut Ma’at inside with me. And I gave up on sleep and got up. I am definitely bendier and 5 pounds lighter so we see how today goes. I’m off to a coffee shop drag show with another friend tonight so hopefully I’ll be in better shape.

Well, this month is the proverbial mixed bag. I just wrapped 3 events in a row, all pleasant and resulting in some sales. Then I torqued up my bad hip at West St. Paul Pride so I've been limping around for the past few days. So this week:

Bad hip and leg issues. much ouch
Smashwords book sale on Queen of Swords Press titles!
Just did the first big round of paperwork to get Jana's CADI application in. This is for the whole process of getting her evaluated and tapping into county funds since she's too young for federal. She's getting lost more often and is less interactive so if I can get CADI funds, I can get her into things like adult daycare and assisted living and so forth. Fingers crossed that it goes smoothly.
We have a new book coming out this Thursday! Dee Holloway's new historical fantasy novella, Little Nothing, is terrific and we can hardly wait for you to discover it!
I have a new list up at Shepherd.com - "Best Fantasy Tales About Women Over 40" I had some fun with this one and think it's pretty solid.
Blood Moon is out in Audiobook and Audiobook.com has a promo sale on it.
I am experimenting with different sizes of ollas, terracotta jars that you plant in your yard or pots and fill with water, which then gradually seeps into the soil. I'm not ready to deal with buried soaker hoses and we do have a drought so we'll see if these help.
The roof, the siding, the insurance, the endless phone calls. Maybe we're getting new siding on the garage and around the windows due to hail damage?
Mother Earth's Gardens field crew came by and did an epic cleanup on the yard. It looks much better, except for the bare spots which I now want to fill with things. Except drought and the wrong season for planting.
On Friday, I get to go into HCMC for not one, but two procedures! My mammogram last month was a tad iffy so it's Boob Smoosh 2 plus an ultrasound for me...right after I get a steroid shot in my hip. Am I worried? Maybe a little. A friend is coming with. Needless to say, no Diversicon for me this weekend. I might be spreading Mom's ashes down at Prairie Oaks Eco Garden on Sunday though, assuming her memorial brick is ready and I'm up to drive to a suburb.

Have I mentioned I'm tired and sore? Because yes. Anyway, off to bed with me. Please send good thoughts that I weather the rest of this week. And maybe go buy a book or ask for one of ours at your library. Every bit helps.

Today, the air quality is pretty crappy, I didn't get enough sleep and i have a headache from the hovering storm so I'm working on projects and watching the Netflix series Word of Honor. I'm a big wuxia fan from way back so this is a fun one. Very pretty, moderately interesting and laden with interesting subtext.

Apart from that, the month has been filled with caregiving-related stuff, miscellaneous events, day job, the Pride StoryBundle and sundry other things. Not so much rest or sleep, alas, though perhaps this weekend will bring some of those around other things. I'll need it - I just scheduled two procedures in a single day for two weeks from now - both needful, but it will be a lot and means that I probably won't be at Diversicon. I'm also also talking to the burial ground/nature preserve about a good date to scatter my mother's ashes and that is likely to happen that weekend as well. Which is a LOT.

Anyway, this week:
Two events! The release of Blood Moon in audiobook! The end of the Pride StoryBundle for this year!
Tiny Diner Art Market - June 29th, 5-8PM. Minneapolis. I'll be there with books by local authors and some of Jana Pullman's handmade boxes and book

Raedial Reads Book Fair - July 1, 11-5PM. Harriet Island Park, St. Paul, MN. Queen of Swords Press will have a table, staffed by me, with books and tea.

Blood Moon comes out in audiobook from Tantor Audio on 6/30! It's up for preorder now and is available everywhere you buy audio books, as is Silver Moon. And you can request them at your local library. Please do! This will be a big part of their discoverability.
The Pride StoryBundle ends this week (7/1) and this year is particularly outstanding in that we have 17 books (biggest bundle ever!) and of those 17, 4 wound up as finalists for the Locus Awards and one was a winner! Big shoutouts to Sam J. Miller for winning best collection for Boys, Beasts and Men and to R.B. Lemberg, Nisi Shawl and Naseem Jamnia for being finalists! Also: this has been a harder than usual bundle to sell, in part because of, well, everything. So if you're thinking about it or want to give someone a copy or you've already gotten it, please, please tell your friends and followers! We've got some amazing books this year and Rainbow Railroad could definitely use all the extra funds it can get.

And on that note, I am off to bed. May tomorrow be a mellower day!

Rocky week and change. Jana's had some big ups and big downs and it's become apparent that I need to clear out enough space in the downstairs office to start sleeping in there on the air mattress on a more regular basis, as it will be more comfortable than the couch once I get used to it. Which means getting rid of stuff. I'm also getting her name off sundry assets so I can apply for aid for her; right now the money for the PCAs as well as everything else is getting paid for out of pocket, mostly my pocket. And memory care/assisted living is both looming and very spendy.

I'm starting to do some cancellations - I won't be tabling at Dancing Bear Chocolate this Sunday because I can't trust her not to get lost and there's no one to check on her because it's Mother's Day. This one is just as well, since I am moderating a panel at the Nebulas on Sunday afternoon and it would have been very challenging to wrangle all of that. I just cancelled on my Monday morning WisCon panel because I don't have anyone to sit with her long enough for me to do a panel AND deal with check out AND the Dealer's Room table. So it wasn't very practical anyway. Mostly just common sense things that would have left me feeling drained and overloaded if I tried them, but it does remind me that I miss having a lot of energy.

Otherwise, my class weekend didn't carry, so I opted to run a zillions errands instead. I did get to do a delightful podcast interview on So I'm Writing a Novel. Got the Nebula Weekend this weekend, Rochester Pride next weekend and WisCon the weekend after that. I'm making a lot of progress on edits for Dee Holloway's novella and a bit of progress on Blue Moon. And there are little bit of fun here and there so it's not so bad.

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Dwelling in Probabilities

Catherine Lundoff's blog

Entries tagged with personal update

News and updates

Back from vacation!

Queen of Swords Press is in Publishers Weekly! Again!

Checking in...

Here we go again...

How it’s going and what’s next

Update!

SMRTing Achieved!

Year in Review, Part the 1st. Because it will take more than one.

The usual delightful mixed bag and sales, sales!

Announcements and new books and life updates and all

Domestic nonbliss...

Current state of things

So much more September...

A list o' stuff makes a post

Re-evaluating

Update from yesterday

State of the Catherine Update

Catching up on a tumultuous month

The merry month of May and all that...