Oh wait, it's coming back to me...

the reason I don't apply for more grants, apart from lack of opportunity and the whole "writers who write erotica aren't real writers, not like writers who blather on for book after book of what is essentially a glorified diary" thing. I bloody well HATE writing the project proposals. I can do the budgets, the writing samples, the cv and all the other miscellaneous stuff but for some reason, wandering through the thickets of "fund me because I'll put it to good use" is just painful, painful, painful.
Back to staring at clunky words for a while before bed now. Sigh.